Free Yiddish Jokes

Parents of Teenagers

Remember those years as teenagers when our main concern was how we looked or how we did on our math test.  The big catastrophe was having a zit.  The opposite sex was our main focus and how we could attract that boy or girl in one of our classes.

It is no wonder that parenting one of these individuals can be both rewarding and exasperating. Probably the most challenging population to work with are those between the ages of 13 and 19 commonly known as “teenagers”.  We say Mazel Tov to you as a parent if you have made it to this most joyous time. And if you can make it through the teen years without loosing your mind, you have a great chance of having a wonderful future with your child.  Oy Vey.

One important thing to note is that the frontal lobe of the brain does not develop until a person is about 20 years old. This part of the brain is responsible for being able to make conscious decisions. Hence, we must have compassion for our children who often make poor decisions at this time.

So, how do we provide our children with the tools and insights they need to live with in this rapidly changing and competitive society?  Some of the best parenting I have seen has come from individuals who are very grounded within themselves and who have a deep respect for their child.  Important skills for parents are the ability to listen effectively without lecturing, judging, criticizing or moralizing.  If your teenager walks away or rolls their eyes you are probably doing one of the above. We recommend you stop immediately and go do the OyVey Guided Meditation and visualization. This will give you an opportunity to address your child from a place of integrity and from a place of listening rather then talking.  Excessive talking with teens is A WASTE OF TIME!

Also important is for a parent to model positive behavior and to “show up” for their teenager.  This, of course, starts from the beginning. Yelling and severe punishment reep poor results and in the long run create teenagers who are unruly and disobedient.

One parent I know always speaks to her child as she would “an intimate friend” not necessarily telling all but making eye contact, showing interest, concern and support.  Talking down to children and treating them the way you would like them to treat you and others is some of the best advice that we can offer you.

Giving children the attention they need at a young age tends to pay off in the long run.  Parents who are “too busy” to play with their young children or listen to their older children will see a break down in the relationship as their child reaches the teen years.

We want our teens to be responsible individuals who avoid excesses and feel comfortable sharing their deepest feelings with us. We must set the stage for this relationship from the beginning with our children and gain an understanding of who they are and what their struggles are. 

The most important advice we can give you is to take care of yourself.  Putting the “oxygen mask on yourself” first will allow you to be the kind of parent you would like to be. Work on your own childhood issues.  Eat well(see recipes).  Exercise and think positively.  Meditate and always have good people around you. If your relationship with your teens are not what you would want, then, instead of blaming them, look at what your part is and what you might have done to create this problem.

Most of all, have fun with them!  Life is short and every person is a gift. We never know how long we really have together.  Your relationship with your children is life long. While we want them to enjoy their teen years we also want them to be safe.  We must do that by being able to communicate with them and impart our deepest wisdom.

Monica Grey, L.C.S.W., L.M.T., EFT Practitioner is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Licensed Massage Therapist, a Certified Inspirational Breathwork Facilitator, and a Reiki Master Teacher and has been in practice since 1996.