From Monica Grey, L.C.S.W., L.M.T., EFT

The first thing I thought of when this book began to materialize was the impact of the Jewish Mother Syndrome. I mean isn't this where it all started anyway?  We probably started getting some of this from our mothers in the womb. 

This doesn't apply just to Jews. These symptoms can befall anyone, of any religion or socio-economic background. In fact, we see many of these same tendencies in other cultures. You don't even have to be a mother or a female for that matter but just someone that suffers from an intense level of anxiety and a tendency to worry excessively about everything under the sun. But, of course, most particularly, your children. This worry spans many different levels and appears to have originated out of the Jewish mother's tendency to be over focused on her children, even when they are grown. Their income, relationships, and day to day activities are of deep concern to her. A common question might be, "Are you eating well"? What does your new boyfriend do? A general over involvement in the lives of her children contributes to continuous worry and sleepless nights.

As it is the tendency of the Jewish mother to take great pride in her offspring's achievements, it is also extremely important that their choice in vocation be one worthy of being talked about to, not only all of her mother's friends, but all of the people that their mother might run into in the world. Which brings us to the most annoying of all tendencies of those who suffer from this affliction, the tendency to nag continuously about a myriad of things. Potential partners, lack of academic achievement, or even not giving mom enough of the attention that she most certainly believes she deserves. I mean, after all, she has sacrificed her life and suffered endlessly for her children. Now, hasn't she?  Which brings up to the last, but certainly not the least, tendency of the Jewish Mother syndrome which is the skilled, but subtle use of guilt to manipulate her children or her husband. As a matter of fact at manipulation, she is a master. The old joke, "How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb'? (In a strong Yiddish accent) Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark", is a classic example of the
Jewish mother attitude. 

This chapter would not be complete without celebrating that which we love about our Jewish mothers. Even though we may have struggled all of our lives with weight problems because mom was continuously asking us if we were hungry, we still love the fact that there was always something to eat and when all else failed we could still be consoled by a hot pastrami sandwich and a glass of chocolate milk and some bobka for dessert. 

The Jewish mother's delight is not only feeding her own children but the whole world. I mean remember, "The children in Europe are starving", probably a playback from the time of the Bolshevik revolution in the early 1900's in Russia where Jewish children were often poor and without food. And who, of all people, do we think of the most when we think of he term, Oy Vey,  but the Jewish mother as this term tends to be her lament and fully expresses the depth of her struggle. And it is to that that we will address this chapter. To fully embrace and embody the essence of Oy Vey, the Yiddish for often meaning, "Oh my God", fully expressing the depth of the Jewish mother's heartache.

Monica Grey, L.C.S.W., L.M.T., EFT Practitioner is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Licensed Massage Therapist, a Certified Inspirational Breathwork Facilitator, and a Reiki Master Teacher and has been in practice since 1996.